i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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