New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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