Whod you bang
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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