Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize