Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize