Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
