so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
