When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She bit a glass in half.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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