I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
