I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
