So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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