I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
