i barfeds in our rink
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We just shotgunned beers for America
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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