I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
