i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
