Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
