I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
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I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
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And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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