when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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