omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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