You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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