now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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