If i come over, it means nothing
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
