garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
