just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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