yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she pinky promised me she was 18
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize