Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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