We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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