i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
