fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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