i don't like sucking hair
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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