Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
