My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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