I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
