Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
