This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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