strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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