Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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