Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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