I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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