a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
