my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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