just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
as a side note pls kill me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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