My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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