Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I want is dick and wine.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
