the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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