He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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