is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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