Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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