I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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