Whod you bang
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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