woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
