It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
