we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
