Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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