He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
worst night to have a conscience
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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