did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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