gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
