Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
