**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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