i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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