they need to just BURY HIM!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
