Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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