I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
