Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
