butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
