I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
farters have to be the big spoon...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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