Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize